


Burrito Butts

by TheHighlyFunctioningGay



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Burritos, Castiel's Tie, Fluff and Angst, Food Kink, Food Sex, Human Castiel, M/M, My First Destiel Fanfic, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Pie, Power Bottom Castiel, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:45:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHighlyFunctioningGay/pseuds/TheHighlyFunctioningGay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas and Dean are just two guys enjoying a few burritos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rice and Beans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EversincethatNaomi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EversincethatNaomi/gifts).



> This takes place in season 9 episode 3 of Supernatural.

“Are there any burritos left?” Cas asked, watching Dean bite into his. They had quickly become his favorite thing about being human. Better than sex, was the thought that crossed his mind every time he held one in his hand, long and thick and warm.

“Yeah, help yourself,” Dean answered, nodding toward the kitchen.

Castiel’s face lit up as he walked to the kitchen, a little too eagerly for someone who was just getting a snack. He had been confused by his love for burritos ever since he took his first bite. It didn’t seem that other humans had that intense an attraction to any kind of food. Even Dean, whose gluttony seemed to rise to new levels every time Castiel watched him eat, didn’t seem as serious as Cas was about burritos.

And having sex with April left him even more confused. Better than sex, he thought, as he walked toward plate of burritos on the table. That wasn’t possible. He’d heard humans say that sex was the best thing in the world. So why was it that he’d rather wrap his hands around a toasty burrito than repeat his night with April?

So maybe he wasn’t that different from Dean. Sometimes at night, hearing Dean’s noises through the thin wall that separated their rooms, Cas couldn’t tell whether he was jerking off or eating.

Dean watched as Cas stepped towards the plate, eyeing it with a hunger that looked like it stemmed from more than just an empty stomach. He must still be thinking about April, Dean thought, rolling his eyes. No matter how hard he tried, Dean couldn’t ignore the pang of jealousy he felt when Cas had announced that he’d slept with April.

Cas. His Cas. Giving it up to a reaper. Just the thought of it made Dean reel with anger.

Unaware that Dean was watching him, Castiel reached down to grab a burrito. He slowly wrapped his fingers around it, admiring the way it gave slightly under his touch. It was fresh and soft, and he couldn’t wait to wrap his mouth around it. Cas slowly brought it up to his lips, opening his mouth to accommodate for its thickness.

Dean’s breath hitched. He stared intently as Cas’s mouth, willing him to move faster. Put it in your mouth, Cas, he caught himself thinking. Bite it. Dean unknowingly began to walk towards the other man, but only managed to take a step before the floor under him creaked loudly.

Castiel’s gaze shot up. “Dean! What are you doing here?” Cas cringed, realizing what a stupid question that was. It was Dean’s kitchen. Why shouldn’t he be here? Cas was just getting a burrito. It was just two guys, in a kitchen. No big deal.

“I just- I wanted another burrito,” Dean  said quickly, reaching for the plate. He bit into it. “Mm, good,” he said, chewing frantically. But Cas gestured that he couldn’t tell what Dean was saying. Dean’s mouth was too full to speak, and his face flushed with frustration  as he realized he’d taken too big a bite.

Cas giggled, approaching Dean slowly. “Bit off more than you can chew?” he asked, a smirk spreading across his face.

Dean rolled his eyes at the corny pun. But then he noticed Cas, his lips only inches away from Dean’s. He swallowed the last of the burrito in his mouth, suddenly becoming aware of Cas’s body heat surrounding him.

“Do you have a boner?” Cas asked, amused. Dean followed his gaze down to his own crotch.

“Uh, yeah. That’s from earlier. When I was thinking about, uh, April!” Dean cringed at his words. April was the first name he could think of. “She was evil, but she sure was hot!” He cringed again.

“Right,” Cas said, his tone amused once again. “Well I’ll be in my room, enjoying my burrito. He made sure to enunciate the last three words, gazing into Dean’s eyes. “In fact, I’m so hungry, I might as well take the whole plate.” He lifted the plate off the counter, turned on his heel, and walked up the stairs.

Dean’s gaze fell over Cas, landing on his butt as he ascended the stairs. He felt his pants tighten around his dick, and became aware of a lump forming in his throat. Bitch took the whole plate, Dean thought, as he began to follow Cas up the stairs.

Castiel was already in his room, the door closed. Dean raised his hand to knock, then lowered it. He didn’t want Cas to stop whatever he was doing in there. He turned the doorknob, pushed, and stepped into the room.

Dean gasped at the sight of Castiel. He was stretched out naked on his bed, eyes closed and head tilted back, jerking himself off. The plate of burritos was on his desk, to the left of the bed. The single burrito that Cas had been meaning to eat was on his belly, just above his cock.

“Cas,” Dean breathed, his voice barely a whisper. Castiel smiled before opening his eyes. “Yes, Dean?” he asked innocently.

“Cas, I- I was wondering if you wanted a burrito,” he blurted, holding up his burrito stupidly. Cas stared at Dean, before flicking his eyes over to the full plate sitting on his desk.

“Well yeah,” Dean said, his voice catching. “But I meant…do you want- do you want _my_ burrito,” he managed to choke out, his voice trailing off towards the end.

Cas’s smile widened. “Why didn’t you say that in the first place? I’d love some of your burrito.” He sat up, waiting as Dean approached him.

Dean almost tripped over his own feet as he walked towards Cas. Finally reaching him, he gazed into his eyes. He brought the burrito to Cas’s lips, and Cas gave him a look. “Dean, I thought you meant-” “I did. Just please. Bite it, Cas,” Dean growled, his voiced almost pained.

He brushed the already bitten burrito over Cas’s lips, watching as Cas parted his lips slightly. Dean pushed in, and he moaned as Cas’s mouth wrapped around it, teeth sinking in. Cas looked up at him as he chewed, and Dean almost mewled, his chest tightening at the beautiful sight of Castiel with a full mouth.

Cas swallowed, and Dean leaned down to kiss him. Their lips slid against each other, the smell of burrito on their breaths causing them to deepen their kiss, their greedy tongues lapping at the taste inside each other’s mouths.

Dean felt his cock throb in his pants. He needed to give it some relief. He let his hands travel to his pants, unbuttoning them and sliding the zipper down.

At the sound of the zipper, Castiel broke the kiss. He looked down at the bulge now visible through Dean’s open fly. “I can help you with that,” he smirked. He sat up, slid to the edge of the bed, and pulled Dean’s pants and boxers down with one swift motion. Dean’s cock sprang out.

It was beautiful. Long and light pink, the tip a darker, more flushed shade of pink. Two defined veins traveled from the base to the tip, and Cas’s hand reached out to trace them.

Dean moaned as Cas’s finger tips lightly grazed his dick. He was fully erect, harder than Cas had expected. Could watching Cas eat a burrito have had such an effect on Dean?

Castiel had an idea. But he’d need lube. He scanned the room, his eyes landing on an empty bottle on the floor. Crap. He’d run out.

“Cas?” Dean asked, looking down at his mouth, then at his own cock. Cas smiled, nodding. Spit is lube, he realized, bringing his lips to the base of Dean’s dick. He licked from base to tip, and was rewarded by a choppy, ragged breath from Dean. Pre-cum was already forming at the tip, and Cas used his thumb to spread it across the head of Dean’s cock. Looking at the glistening skin, Cas darted his tongue out, wanting to taste Dean’s liquids. Dean moaned as Cas swirled his tongue around the head, lapping at the pre-cum.

Then he wrapped his arms around Dean’s legs, his hands lightly resting on each butt cheek. He looked up into Dean’s eyes, wrapping his mouth around his cock, pushing his head down, and taking Dean in completely.

Dean threw his head back, moaning, “Casss.”

Cas flattened his tongue against the underside of Dean’s cock as he came back up. Dean shuddered. Cas’s mouth made a popping sound as it slid off Dean’s dick completely.

Dean waited. When Cas’s mouth didn’t return to his dick, he opened his eyes, to see the other man’s lips coming down on his own. Dean tasted his dick mixed with burrito on Cas’s lips. Cas pressed his body into Dean’s, grabbing Dean’s butt so he could grind into him.

Cas pulled back from the kiss, almost laughing at the confused expression on Dean’s face. “You’ll cum soon Dean, I promise,” he assured him. “But I have an idea.”

He turned them around so that Dean’s back was to the bed, then walked him backwards until he was lying flat on it. Cas lay beside Dean, and grabbed the burrito that had rolled onto the bed off of Cas’s belly earlier. He brought the burrito to Dean’s dick, wrapping his hand around both. Then he gently began to move his hand up and down Dean’s cock, the burrito moving as well.

“Ohh,” Dean moaned, his dick sandwiched between the friction of Castiel’s fingers on one side, and the soft, still warm burrito on the other side. He pushed up into Cas’s palm, fucking his dick in between the hand of the man he loved, and his darkest, most shameful fetish.

“Easy, Dean,” Castiel growled, his voice low and gravelly. “You don’t want to rip the burrito.”

But Dean was beyond all logic. His thrusts became frantic, losing their rhythm. Castiel’s hand couldn’t keep up. Cas pumped faster as Dean ground his dick into Cas’s hand.

Dean was approaching the edge. He could feel it building inside him. Just a few more thrusts and he would-

“Dean!” Cas’s hand stopped. The burrito stopped.

“What?” Dean breathed, slightly annoyed.

“The burrito. It ripped,” Cas replied. He looked utterly lost.

Dean sat up, examining the burrito. The side he had been fucking was torn open, the rice and beans spilling out. His dick was covered in a thin layer of the burrito sauce, along with a few grains of rice and some beans. He looked up at Cas. “Lick it off, Castiel.”

Cas blinked. Then he smiled, bringing his tongue down to Dean’s dick. He licked slowly at the sauce on the left side of Dean’s cock, sliding his tongue over each area twice, three times, to make sure he got it all. Dean whimpered, nodding for Cas to continue.

Cas brought the tip of his tongue to a grain of rice, picking it up and swallowing it. He did that until all the rice was gone, torturing Dean’s dick with slow, light flicks of the tongue.

Then, only the two beans stuck to the side of his dick were left. Castiel picked them both up with his lips, and Dean sighed, thinking Cas was done.

But Cas moved his mouth higher, and hovered over Dean’s cockhead. He opened his mouth slowly, allowing the beans to fall onto the head. Then he opened his mouth wide, descending onto Dean’s dick. He closed his lips around the head, sucked in, and pulled back up, slurping the beans into his mouth.

“Cas!” Dean screamed, his voice a little too high-pitched. His hips bucked and he thrust his dick into the empty air, Cas’s mouth already gone.

Cas’s dick twitched in his pants at the sound of Dean screaming his name. He realized his cock was almost in pain from straining against his pants for so long. Castiel straddled Dean’s legs, and moved up his body until they were face to face. He leaned down, taking Dean’s lips with his. Grabbing Dean’s hand, he guided it towards his cock.

Dean kneaded his palm into the bulge under Cas’s pants. Cas moaned, grinding himself into Dean. Dean wrapped his other hand around Cas’s back, and flipped them over.

Their eyes met as Cas settled into the pillow under his head. They gazed at each other for a moment, their noses touching lightly. Then Dean’s lips were on Cas’s, kissing him sweetly, tenderly.

Cas could sense a shift in Dean’s energy. “Dean?” he asked, bringing a hand to Dean’s chest and gently pushing him up, breaking the kiss. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, Cas, I-” Dean’s voice wavered. “I want to fuck you.” The lump in his throat from before returned, and he gulped, trying to swallow it away. His eyes searched Cas’s, looking for a reply.

Cas just leaned up, taking Dean’s lips into a kiss, and running his fingers through Dean’s hair.

Dean moved his lips to Castiel’s jaw, placing light kisses there, moving down his neck, his collarbone, his chest. When his lips met with the collar of Castiel’s shirt, he tugged it up. Cas lifted his arms and the shirt flew in some unidentified direction.

Dean continued kissing Castiel’s chest, coming to a stop when he reached a nipple. Cas’s nipples were so hard and perky. Dean wanted to run his tongue over them. But he had a better idea. He reached over to the table, where the bitten burrito was. Bringing it to Cas’s left nipple, he massaged the closed end into Cas’s sensitive nub.

Castiel groaned, watching as the other man teased his nipple.

Then Dean flipped the burrito over, pressing the bitten side into Castiel’s nipple. Cas could feel the filling- sauce, rice, and beans, falling onto his sensitive skin. The burrito had gotten cold, and Cas shuddered as his nipple tightened and hardened even more.

There’s going to be food all over me, Cas thought, as Dean began to remove the burrito. But Dean managed to lift it so that there was only one grain of rice caught on Castiel’s nipple.

No longer covered by the burrito, Cas gasped as he felt a sudden breeze across his nipple. Looking down, he saw his small nub covered with a thick layer of sauce, topped in the middle with a single grain of rice. Then he noticed Dean’s eyes, staring hungrily at his chest.

Dean looked at Cas’s nipple, glistening with burrito sauce, the grain of rice resting in the center. He moved his mouth down slowly, meaning to tease Castiel. But suddenly his lips were crashing onto his target, sucking on it as if he were a starving savage. He pulled the tender flesh up with his lips, stretching it almost a little too far. Castiel whimpered. Dean’s eyes shot up, expecting to see pain in Castiel’s expression. But he only saw lust. He ran his tongue across Cas’s nipple, soothing it anyway.

“Dean,” Cas cried, his breathing heavy. “The other one.”

Dean gazed up at Cas, a crooked smile forming on his face. He reached for the burrito, taking a bite and chewing it. Dean swallowed most of it, leaving a few small pieces on his tongue.

Then he brought his mouth to Cas’s right nipple, and licked his tongue over it. Cas groaned, throwing his head back. The tiny pieces of burrito rolled over his nipple, sending tiny sensations across the sensitive skin. Dean licked again and again, Cas arching his neck, pressing the back of his head into the pillow.

Cas’s cock throbbed again, and he put his hands on Dean’s shoulders, pushing him down softly.

Dean kissed down Castiel’s body, stopping only to unbutton his pants and pull them off him along with his boxers.

Castiel’s dick came free. It was a darker shade of pink than Dean’s was, the tip flushed almost red. Probably because Cas has been waiting longer, Dean thought with a pang of guilt. He was going to fix that right now.

He flattened his tongue at the base of Cas’s cock, licking all the way to the tip. Castiel moaned, a grateful expression washing over his face. Dean liked that. He liked making Cas feel satisfied. He repeated the motion, sweeping his tongue across Cas’s dick from base to tip. Remembering what Cas had done, he swirled his tongue around the other man’s cockhead, spreading the pre-cum that was leaking out. Castiel moaned, his hands clenching at the bed sheets on either side of his body.

Dean’s gaze moved down to Cas’s balls. He cupped them with one hand, stroking his thumb along one of them. Cas instantly whimpered, thrusting his hips up at Dean. Dean ran the tip of his tongue over the place his thumb had just touched. “Deaaan,” Castiel whined. Dean licked Cas’s balls again, his thumb slipping down, ghosting over Castiel’s butthole.

Cas gasped, his eyes shooting open. Dean moved his hand away. “No,” Cas exclaimed, his right hand unclenching the sheets so he could take Dean’s hand. He guided it to his hole, closing his eyes as he felt Dean’s finger graze it again.

Dean’s pushed his index finger against Cas’s opening, watching it slowly yield to the pressure. No lube, he remembered. He crawled up Cas’s body, bringing his index finger to the other man’s lips. Cas parted them, taking the finger in his mouth and sucking on it.

Then Dean brought his finger to Cas’s rosebud, and began to push in slowly. Cas made a small, pained sound, and Dean covered Castiel’s lips with his own to soothe him. “It’s okay, Cas. You’ll be fine in a second,” he purred.

Dean’s eyes traveled to the plate of burritos. He reached over to grab one, nearly falling off the bed in the process. “What are you doing?” Cas asked, suddenly feeling empty. “You’ll see,” Dean smirked, kissing Cas again. He brought a corner of the burrito to Cas’s lips. “Suck on the burrito, Cas.” Castiel looked up at him warily, but did as he was told. Dean groaned at the sight of the other man with a burrito between his lips.

Dean moved into the space between Cas’s legs, and stroked his hole with the wet corner of the burrito. Cas’s opening relaxed instantly. “Do it again, Dean,” he breathed, his voice barely a whisper. Dean ran the burrito across Cas’s hole again, this time pushing a little. He could hear Cas’s breathing speed up as he ran the burrito in a circle around his inner walls. Dean pushed the corner in as far as it could go, and rotated the burrito inside Cas again and again. Cas bucked his hips into the sensation. “More, Dean,” he begged.

Dean pulled the burrito out, and put two of his fingers in his mouth before pressing them to Cas’s hole. He pushed in easily, and began moving them back and forth, as Cas met his thrusts with equal force. “More,” Cas whispered, his voiced ragged. Dean added a finger, and Cas gasped. Dean stayed still inside Cas until he felt his walls adjust. Then he began to move slowly.

“Faster,” Cas demanded, trying to sound authoritative, but instead sounding as if he were pleading. Dean obliged, watching the ecstasy on Cas’s face as he sped up. Cas felt the chemicals building up inside him. “Dean, I- I’m going to-”

Dean pulled his fingers out. “Dean!” Cas yelled, his voice a mix of anger and confusion.

But Dean was already pushing the burrito against Cas’s opening. It slid in easily, and he kept pushing it until three-quarters of it were gone inside Cas’s body. “Deaaan,” Cas croaked approvingly. Dean smirked as he pulled it out a little, then pushed it in again. He loved watching Cas’s butthole swallow up the burrito.

“Faster, Dean. Fuck me with the burrito,” Castiel begged.

Dean thrust the burrito into Cas’s hole, and brought his lips to Cas’s cock. He sucked on the tip, then pushed his mouth down to take Cas in completely. At the same time, he shoved the burrito into Cas. Then, as he pulled his mouth back up, he pulled the burrito back out. He kept this rhythm up until Cas was screaming, and Dean’s cock couldn’t take it anymore.

He pulled the burrito out of Cas completely, and pushed his dick inside him. He moaned as he felt Cas’s burrito-slickened walls constrict around his cock. Dean leaned his body over Cas’s, his breath falling over Cas’s neck as their eyes met. Then, looking deep into Cas’s eyes, he began to move.

Cas mewled helplessly. The man he had loved for so long was inside of him. Gazing into his eyes. Breathing burrito breath all over him.

Dean felt Cas’s walls clench around him tighter. He groaned, bringing his mouth to Cas’s ear. “Cas, Cas, Cas…” he breathed, his pace speeding up.

Cas groaned as Dean’s breath fell over his ear. His cock twitched at hearing Dean chant his name so softly. His hole seemed to want to swallow Dean’s dick, as he relished being fucked into the bed. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Deaaan,” he screamed, sounding utterly destroyed. He shut his eyes, bucking his hips as he came, riding a wave of pure ecstasy.

Cas’s hole spasmed around Dean’s dick, sending him over the edge. He thrust in one more time before he came, throwing his head back and grinding out Cas’s name.

When he came back down, he stayed inside Cas for a second longer. His eyes roamed over the other man’s face. Castiel’s expression was a mixture of fatigue, amusement and tenderness. He had been watching Dean orgasm.

Dean smiled. “So, Cas, how’s the view from down there?”

“Beautiful,” Castiel replied, wrapping a hand around Dean’s neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

Dean pulled out of Cas, and settled into the space next to him on the bed, resting his head on Cas’s shoulder.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

Dean ran his hand softly across Cas’s chest. When Cas didn’t stir, Dean smiled. Maybe with my help, Cas won’t have such a hard time learning to go to sleep after all, he thought.


	2. Fresh Pie and Stale Burritos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe making pie for breakfast wasn't the best idea.

Dean rolled over on his side, reaching over to the spot next to him. His hands fell through the air and landed on the bed with a soft pat. No Cas. Dean’s mind suddenly filled with memories from last night. He recalled his hand wrapping around Cas’s dick, watching the burrito disappear into Cas, burying his cock deep inside him. Dean threw his face into the pillow and groaned, regret filling his chest instantly. Cas probably couldn’t even look at him this morning. He had to find him and make things…not awkward.

Dean sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind enough to think of what he was going to say to Cas. Suddenly his nose filled with a warm, sweet scent, and his stomach grumbled immediately. Standing up, he followed the smell downstairs to the kitchen.

Stepping into the kitchen, he saw Cas bent over, looking at something in the oven. He opened his mouth and closed it again, deciding against complimenting Cas’s ass. Suggestive comments would definitely not help them return to normalcy.

“Cas,” Dean said, his tone urgent and serious. “We need to talk.” Castiel turned around and smiled. Dean noticed a smudge of flour under the left corner of his mouth.

“Good morning babe,” Cas said excitedly. “I’m making pie.” He beamed at Dean, his expression almost child-like.

Dean crossed his arms, involuntarily taking a few steps back. “Dude, seriously?” he asked. Castiel’s face fell, but Dean was too shocked at the whole situation to notice. “Don’t turn this into some wifey shit,” Dean continued. “And never, never call me ‘babe’ again.”

Cas furrowed his brow, trying to look more confused than hurt. “I don’t understand,” he managed to say, a knot suddenly forming in this throat.

Dean rolled his eyes at Cas’s apparent shock. “Dude, I fucked you with a burrito. That’s literally all that happened. Don’t read into this, don’t make me pie, and definitely don’t call me babe.” Dean caught a flicker of understanding in Cas’s eyes, joined with a tint of sadness.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” he said, staring at the floor. “I’m just…new to being human. I’m still learning how it all works.”

Dean nodded.

“So do you mean we’re just…friends with benefits?” Cas looked up, a small glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“What?” Dean sputtered, caught off guard by his question. “No. No, we are not friends with benefits, Cas. Nothing like this will ever happen again.”

Cas nodded slowly. “So what now?” he asked softly.

 

Dean gritted his teeth. “Why are you making this so hard, Cas? I’ll tell you what happens now. We get our asses in the shower, get ready, and go help Sam figure out where we’re going next. We throw out those nasty burritos and forget the whole thing, and hope last night didn’t scar us so bad that we can’t eat a burrito ever again without puking. Do you understand?”

Cas nodded. He felt his legs hit the oven, and realized he’d slowly been backing up.

“I’m going to take a shower,” Dean grunted before turning and walking out of the kitchen.

Cas slumped against the hot oven, embarrassed and wishing he could disappear. Maybe being human wasn’t such a good thing, after all.

 

“Cas?” Dean called, walking out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist. The hot water had helped him clear his mind, but it also left him with a feeling of guilt that settled into his chest and sank into the pit of his stomach like a rock. Cas didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Yeah, he was a little over-enthusiastic, but it was sweet.

And maybe Dean just got caught off guard because no one had ever treated him like that before. Every woman he’d been with was a one-night stand and she knew it. She was always gone in the morning, and that’s the way Dean liked it. He wasn’t used to this, whatever this was. But then again, he wasn’t used to gay sex, either. And he’d liked it. So maybe he could like this, too.

“Cassie!” he called, strolling into the kitchen.

Castiel turned from the window, a sad smile forming on his lips as he saw Dean, water dripping from his hair onto his chest, sliding down his body and under the towel. Cas tore his eyes away, not wanting to think about where the drops were going next. “Cassie, huh?” he attempted a smirk, casually leaning back against the counter to hide that fact that he was still upset.

“I was being sarcastic,” Dean said, rolling his eyes. He noticed steam rising up behind the other man. “Is that the pie?” he asked softly.

“Uh, yeah,” Cas said, dropping his gaze to the floor. He suddenly found it hard to look at Dean. “But don’t worry, Dean, you don’t have to eat it.”

Dean cringed at how small Cas’s voice sounded. His eyes fell over to where Cas was nervously fiddling with his fingers, and Dean couldn’t resist walking over. He reached for Cas’s hands, pulling them apart and intertwining them with his own. Then he looked up into Cas’s eyes. “Castiel, I’d love to have some of your pie.”

“Dean, you don’t have to-” But Dean was already kissing him, softly, almost lovingly, sliding his lips against Cas’s as if he wanted to soothe the pain he’d caused him.

He felt Cas’s hand tear away from his own, and then felt it on his chest, pushing Dean away.

“Stop, Dean.” Cas’s breathing was heavy, and he spoke between short gasps of air. “I can’t do this. I won’t.”

“What do you mean-”

“Just shut up for a second,” Cas blurted. Then his voice turned soft. “Look. What happened yesterday was in the heat of the moment. And it was wonderful, and I don’t regret it for a second. But we can’t continue this. We’re different people and we want different things. So before we cause each other any more pain or confusion, let’s just take a step back, ok?”

Cas paused, and Dean opened his mouth to speak. But Cas inhaled and continued before Dean could say anything.

“Dean, I may not know much about humans yet, especially human emotion. But I do know that your mood swings, they aren’t exactly…healthy.”

Dean began to protest, but Castiel raised a hand to silence him, and Dean shut up.

“I don’t blame you, Dean. What you do, what we do, it messes with us. Just look at you and Sam. You love each other, yes, but you’re constantly fighting. Walking out on each other and swearing to never speak to each other again.” Cas looked into Dean’s eyes, not fully understanding why they were watering. Softly, he continued. “If you can’t even stay on good terms with your own brother, how can you ever expect to have a good relationship with anyone else?” Cas furrowed his brow, his eyes roaming over Dean’s now reddened face.

Silence filled the room for what seemed like eternity.

Dean felt the tears forming in the corners of his eyes, and opened his mouth to speak before they could fall. “Get out,” he ground, his voice cracking. He pointed toward the door, his fingers shaking.

Cas lowered his eyes and began to walk slowly out of the room. He turned his head back a tiny bit, as if to look back at Dean, but then decided against it and walked out.

Dean caught a glimpse of regret on Cas’s face, and he felt a pang of sympathy for the former angel, who probably didn’t understand what he did wrong. But the feeling only lasted a second before Dean was crying into his hands, because Cas was right about everything. He was right about how fucked up Dean was, and about his bipolar relationship with his brother. But what hurt the most is what Cas had left unspoken. Dean would never be able to make him happy. Not in the way he wanted to. Not in the way Cas truly deserved.


	3. Tying Ties That Don't Need Tying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam drags Cas back to the bunker to make up with Dean. Awkwardness ensues.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, surprise turning into butterflies when he found the former angel in the living room of the bunker.

 

After their fight, Cas had left the bunker and found a motel not far away. It was far enough to stay the fuck away from Dean, but still be close enough to see Sam. Whenever Dean and Cas had a falling out like this, Sam was Cas’s only confidant.

But after a week of going back and forth between Dean and Cas,  noticing that Dean joked less and less, watching Cas struggle with the simplest human chores like shopping and making food, and waking up in the middle of the night because Dean was pacing loudly in his room, Sam had had enough.

He tried to convince Cas to talk to Dean, and when Cas refused, Sam practically dragged him to the bunker by the collar. “Stay here and don’t fucking move,” Sam said, pointing to a chair in the living room. There was no room for argument in his tone. He didn’t care whether they decided to be friends, boyfriends, or fuckbuddies, just as long as they stopped acting like forty-year-old menopausal women. Dean would be home in half an hour, this bullshit would be over, and they’d all be able to finally get some sleep.

 

“Cas,” Dean repeated, still trying to steady his quivering voice. Castiel was lost in thought, and Dean couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched him fiddle with his hands, as always.

Cas’s head shot up at the familiar short deep rumble of laughter. “Dean,” he breathed, a little startled. He stood up.

“Why are you here?” Dean asked, and Cas couldn’t tell whether it was annoyance or hope he heard in Dean’s voice.

“I…Sam brought me here. He wants us to…” Cas’s voice trailed off. He looked at Dean as if waiting for him to say something.

Dean stared blankly at the other man. His head was swimming with thoughts, but his attention was somewhere else. He let his eyes wander over Castiel, taking in his rumpled hair and stubble-dotted cheeks. He noticed that the right side of Cas’s trench coat collar was flipped slightly up, and his tie was untied and flung awkwardly around the back of his neck. Dean felt his feet move beneath him, and suddenly he was inches away from Cas, his arms reaching to straighten out Cas’s collar. He smoothed his hand over Cas’s chest, flattening the awkward crease.

“Dean,” Cas whispered. Dean felt the other man’s breath against his ear. His head shot up, and his nervous green eyes met Cas’s almost desperate blue ones.

There was a deafening silence in the room as they gazed into each other’s eyes, neither of them sure what to do next.

Dean broke the stare. “Here, let me fix your tie,” he said hurriedly, his fingers shaking as he gripped the end of it. Then he felt Cas’s hand on his.

“You don’t need to do that,” Cas said softly.

“Let me tie your tie, Cas, I hate it when it looks this way,” Dean insisted.

Castiel sighed, rolling his eyes, his hand slowly uncurling Dean’s fingers from the object in question. “Let go of my tie, Dean. There’s no point in fixing it if you’re just going to untie it again.”


End file.
